The life of a dad!
It seemed like I had just closed my eyes when I was awaken by the sound of a hungry baby stirring in her crib. The hour was about 1:30 in the a.m. and I was not to excited to get up to give the girls a bottle. Mom was doing the next feeding so this was mine solo. I got up to prepare the bottles and my daughter Alyssa decided that she had waited long enough and began to express to me through howling tears that she was ready for food. I finished preparing the bottles and picked up the girls placing them on the blanket that was lying across our floor. Both were telling me vocally about their want of food. However, I have a system down that has me changing their ever messy diapers before feeding. So I took my place in front of Alyssa. I sat crossed legged (or as my wife says to her preschool class "pretzel legged") in shorts with her legs pointing towards mine. I pick up her legs and placed a new diaper underneath her so the transition from one diaper to the other with be a smooth and clean as possible. This is not always the case. I then proceed to take off her diaper and clean up the present she left daddy. During this process my little princess has a gastronomic dilemma and begins to relieve some of the pressure that has built up inside her little body. This creates a chain reaction of events that eventually results in gas accompanied by poop bursting forth onto good old dads hands. I must admit I was a little frustrated, but I was also happy. Most of the time that this happens you not only get messy, but you loose the new diaper to the mess. This time it was different. I had managed to save the new diaper at the sacrifice of my hands. Proud of myself for not wasting a diaper, I wiped off and began to pull ever so slightly the old diaper out from under my little gem. I lifted it and was putting it down gently so as to not spill the contents when my daughter had another gastronomic dilemma. I was unprepared for what followed. The diaper was not yet fastened around Alyssa when she let out her dilemma. This time it did not come with a mess, but with a burst of liquid fun. She evidently was pushing very hard to get out the pressure in her belly and upon doing so she quite literally turned herself into a human squirt gun. There seemed to be an explosion and the next thing I know my legs are soaked and so is everything else. If you have ever shot a super soaker you may understand the velocity with which I was dowsed. I sat there in disbelief and absolute anger. (You would too at 1:30AM) My girls were both crying and I was covered in urine. It was a night I will forever remember.
It seemed like I had just closed my eyes when I was awaken by the sound of a hungry baby stirring in her crib. The hour was about 1:30 in the a.m. and I was not to excited to get up to give the girls a bottle. Mom was doing the next feeding so this was mine solo. I got up to prepare the bottles and my daughter Alyssa decided that she had waited long enough and began to express to me through howling tears that she was ready for food. I finished preparing the bottles and picked up the girls placing them on the blanket that was lying across our floor. Both were telling me vocally about their want of food. However, I have a system down that has me changing their ever messy diapers before feeding. So I took my place in front of Alyssa. I sat crossed legged (or as my wife says to her preschool class "pretzel legged") in shorts with her legs pointing towards mine. I pick up her legs and placed a new diaper underneath her so the transition from one diaper to the other with be a smooth and clean as possible. This is not always the case. I then proceed to take off her diaper and clean up the present she left daddy. During this process my little princess has a gastronomic dilemma and begins to relieve some of the pressure that has built up inside her little body. This creates a chain reaction of events that eventually results in gas accompanied by poop bursting forth onto good old dads hands. I must admit I was a little frustrated, but I was also happy. Most of the time that this happens you not only get messy, but you loose the new diaper to the mess. This time it was different. I had managed to save the new diaper at the sacrifice of my hands. Proud of myself for not wasting a diaper, I wiped off and began to pull ever so slightly the old diaper out from under my little gem. I lifted it and was putting it down gently so as to not spill the contents when my daughter had another gastronomic dilemma. I was unprepared for what followed. The diaper was not yet fastened around Alyssa when she let out her dilemma. This time it did not come with a mess, but with a burst of liquid fun. She evidently was pushing very hard to get out the pressure in her belly and upon doing so she quite literally turned herself into a human squirt gun. There seemed to be an explosion and the next thing I know my legs are soaked and so is everything else. If you have ever shot a super soaker you may understand the velocity with which I was dowsed. I sat there in disbelief and absolute anger. (You would too at 1:30AM) My girls were both crying and I was covered in urine. It was a night I will forever remember.
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