Well, Kurbis is getting fiesty, and I do have some big news. Hopefully it'll be solidified a bit better tomorrow night, but... I'm going to tell the story from the beginning. Some of you may have already heard about this because I was too excited not to send some random e-mails, but if this is the first you've heard, don't feel left out. Or do, and give me a call. Or give me money. Wardrobe suggestions. Anything really.
I went dancing last Saturday after a grueling split shift at work. In less time than it takes the average person to competently fill out the first page of their taxes, I was home, showered, changed, and walking into an Elk's Lodge to have a good night. There weren't more than thirty people there. I danced with a few different girls. Whatever. Then I noticed two girls off to one side of the room. Cute girls. You know how I feel about cute girls. I asked the first one to dance. She was pretty darn good. The next song, I asked the other one. She said this was her first swing dance and she was still working on the basics. We had a good dance, the song ended, and I thought I was socially required to keep cycling through the other dozen girls there when this one particular girl asked if we could just keep dancing. I, of course, said no. Ha! I'm not that stupid. For the next two hours, I danced almost constantly with this one girl, and we talked, and the music would stop, and we'd be standing talking, and another song would start and she would say "can we dance and talk at the same time?" and she smiled a lot. I'll admit I was a little smitten. Oh, and she's got an Australian accent with about half her words (grew up in Australia), so that's hot. And she goes to a small Christian college in Portland, almost the same size as Crown. Yeah, she's a tutor. College sophomore. I asked her for her number with some awkward adage about going out for coffee. She gave me her number. She left. I drummed on my dashboard almost the entire drive home.
Luckily the story isn't over. I called her yesterday (held off as long as I could), we talked for a long time (and you know what that means if it's me saying it), and we're going out tomorrow night. Now this is how dating is supposed to work!
Oh, I guess that's not a good subject to keep this thing rolling. What can I say that's antagonistic enough so that Kurbis is happy? I'll write a syllogism:
Hilary Clinton is all evil.
Hilary Clinton is a Democrat.
Democrats are all evil.
I love this logic stuff. I'll try another and really get Kurbis going.
Duerkop is good.
Duerkop is a Republican.
Duerkop is not Hilary Clinton
Therefore Duerkop is not in it for his own glory.
Let's try one more:
Hubka is really excited about his date tomorrow night.
Hubka is not taking Hilary Clinton out.
Hubka is happy about that.
Bill Clinton is not.
Hubka forgot the rules of logic.
Hubka does not care because he has a hot date tomorrow night.
Therefore, Hubka is done writing.
Kurbis, it's your turn.