Yeah, for some of you, you're reading this before you read Duerk's post, so scroll down and read about his first, because it makes mine make more sense. Thanks to his strange interest in this made-for-tv movie about sharks and spring break, I ended up watching nearly the whole thing, and I haven't wasted so much time since I was in Alliance History and Distinctives. I kept telling myself that whoever had written this cinematic farse surely was trying to make a joke out of both Jaws and... I don't know, Weekend at Bernie's. Either way, I kept laughing, and people were being eaten by a swarm of giant sharks, although their footage of sharks showed great whites, black and white tipped sharks, and then would cut back to giant shark fins sliding around groups of partying spring breakers. First of all, great white sharks do not end up in tropical waters. Second of all, sharks that do hunt in groups are the type and size of shark that would find a tuna the sort of hearty meal for one shark, not a 108 lb. bikini-clad drunken 18-year-old that was drugged ironically by the guy that ends up sliding off one of those floating dock/island things unto the mouth of a great white (the next shot cut to a para-surfer who fell unto a great white in a way that made my childhood movie-making attempts look deep and dramatic). I mean, a scientist guy (once named Richard Dreyfus, but not in this "movie") was pulling sea turtles (right now I'm imagining the sign language word for sea turtle, one of three words I can say in sign language, thank you Lynnea) the size of exercise balls - half-eaten in a single bite, right through their shell and all, commenting on how it seemed that sharks were attacking the sea turtles into a tape recorder. I may be the freaking moron wasting time complaining about it, but at least I have the common decency not to write stuff like that down and then get somebody to produce such drivel. But here's the kicker: The final scene is two teen-aged love-birds walking away with the beach behind them, one who should be in an ambulence from being speared through the shoulder, all the while behind them was the dock/island thing still tilted into the water where dozens of people just died a short while before, and nobody seems to care that these two teenagers are strolling down the beach in a romantic way, kidding and laughing while their recently deceased friends are digesting in the stomachs of twenty sharks that were scared off by some stupid science experiment! If I ever stoop to the level of writing made-for-tv movies that make people feel worse about the human race afterwards, please, one of you must kidnap me and brainwash me like they did in the oringal Manchurian Canidate. Just don't let me torture innocent people like that. Let me do it this way. Duerk, I'm not mad at you for getting me to watch this movie. I'm only a little dissappointed. Go get Eternal Sunshine and watch something good. Hopefully I'll see you all at Quizno's tomorrow.