It's raining in Baltimore... No one's around...and I don't have nothin' to say. I miss you; I guess that I should. Kyle, Marty, Bubna, Brad, you know what I mean. Something hit me tonight and my heart feels like my window, covered in raindrops running at random, tattered by the windy torrents outside and cheerless as the gray sky beyond. Maybe it's the O3 talking. Ever wonder if your life is a endless band of cliches that you yourself have preached so fervently against but could not help falling into? It's all a lot of oysters, and no pearls. So true. Do I really know what I want? I think so. Does anyone? Maybe this year will be better than the last. Is it wrong to share the darkest parts of your soul when you wonder if anyone else is so dark as you? I realize second-person writing isn't the best medium and should be used more carefully, but my present state does little to withhold my written soliloquy. Is the darkness so evil that it could only lead to a cave that tears through the earth to Gehenna itself, or is it a period of rest like the night, showered with the pinpoints of shimmering stars and the cold light of the moon letting the weariness of the daylight be forgetten in dreams and relived in nightmares? But I never dreamed home would end up where I don't belong. Ever wonder if you really don't deserve anybody, and that questions why you have even the smallest pieces of some trapped deep in your heart? Maybe Duerkop was right and I jinxed(?) the blogger by being excited people were writing. The answers we find are never what we had in mind. You don't talk of dreams, I won't mention tomorrow, we won't make those promises that we can't keep. Ever felt like somebody poked a hole in the bottom of funny and it all drained out in a few sad seconds? I don't have to answer any of these questions. I come home in the evening; sit in my chair. Did Jesus mean yourself when he said "Love your enemy?" Is there a greater enemy of your own soul? Don't think I'm really this messed up. It's just a hard night and this seems like a good way to deal with it. Do you ever wish the night would come quicker? I used to think that the only holidays that sucked because you were alone were Christmas and New Years and Valentine's Day, but it seems even Indepedence Day cries out to be spent with people, for everybody is with others it seems. The mist of the morning -that's what we're walking through. I don't think anyone will get a kick out of this, but I don't think I've conveyed myself so clearly in writing for a long time. The hard times of life are like starting blocks that we can push off of into joy. It shows that life is not just hard times, and that joy is not reached without something joyless to push off of. The chair I'm sitting in is falling apart. Do you think it is a foreshadow of greater things to come, or nothing more than proof that with time, most things fall apart? Well, now the blogger is simply begging someone to put together a coherent recollection of their day or some exciting news, and this contains neither. I'll simply leave you with a couple good quotes of Plato that should raise your eyebrows at our present political situation (no offense intended, Duerkop): "The more closely I studied the politicians and the laws and customs of the day, and the older I grew, the more difficult it seemed to me to govern rightly. Nothing could be done without trustworthy friends and supporters; and these were not easy to come by in an age which had abandoned its traditional moral code but found it impossibly difficult to create a new one. At the same time law and morality were deteriorating at an alarming rate, with the result that though I had been full of eagerness for a political career, the sight of all this chaos made me giddy, and though I never stopped thinking of how things might be improved and the constitution reformed, I postponed action, waiting for a favourable opportunity. Finally I came to the conclusion that all existing states were badly governed, and that their constitutions were incapable of reform without drastic treatment and a great deal of good luck. I was forced, in fact, to the belief that the only hope of finding justice for society or for the individual lay in true philosophy, and that mankindwill have no respite from the trouble until either real philosophers gain political power or politicians become by some miracle true philosophers." Long quote. Here's a better, shorter one: "In a city of good men there might well be as much a competition to avoid power as there now is to get it..." As always, I apologize for myself. I hope it's not raining in Baltimore where you are.