Yeah! People are writing stuff. The only way I could sound more uneducated is to put an is in place of the are. Hey, speaking of education, did everybody recently receive a picture from graduation from Dr. B, or am I just now receiving what everybody else got long ago because I might actually be graduated? If you received it more than two weeks ago, let me know, because it'd be a clearer message about my graduation status than I have received from Crown itself.
Oh, news, yes. I am once again unemployed. My week and two day stint with Warnoth Custom Homes came to an abrupt halt this morning when I declaired my intention to... well, be unemployed again. I had a very terrible day yesterday, to the point of which I think I had heat stroke, had my ladder fall out from under me, had a power drill bind on me several times while drilling through a steel beam (the start of my troubles), and I was told that if I didn't work faster, I should hit the road. Well, I worked faster and hit the road, so I hope they're happy. I'm not mad that they gave me a terrible job that was nearly impossible to complete with the equipment (I drilled for nearly three hours, and the job should have taken half an hour, but it took two hours to figure out I had a dull bit), so in my frustration, and sickening nausea, I told myself I needed a line of work that I felt in which I could actually acomplish something. Yesterday was bad enough that I came home and sat on my lunch cooler for possibly half an hour with my hands in my face, wondering if I am a complete failure at living on my own. I couldn't even keep my first job two weeks. But (for all you positive people out there, this may make you smile, but don't think this is a trend or anything), all this was a startling point of despair that led me to a book by Andrew Murray called Abide in Christ, and it has been a refreshing taste of spiritual depth of which I have been missing for sure since I've been here. We'll see what comes of that.
Lynnea, I don't know if it is wise for anyone to pull the "you'll never understand" stance, because it's true, but it works both ways. We're to have sympathy when we can, and empathy when we can't, but for a person to believe that you must understand (and really, what does that mean except to put a loaded phrase into an emotional situation) to help, to care about them, well, that person is expecting you to be God himself, because I think only God can relate to us, understand us in a way that we understand ourselves. Can I relate to people who have never worried about money, who live what seems like a rich life, in the same way that I can relate to someone that grew up across the street from me? I would say I can't, but that doesn't change things. Can I relate to someone that grew up in homeless shelters or in a war-torn country? I would say no. Sympathy, empathy, and caring are things that must be received, and I don't think you had any way to break through this woman's bitterness for her to receive anything. We do have one ability that gives us must understanding -imagination. Use it. Imagine life as she has lived it. See how you feel. Spend a day thinking about life very different, and see if you can relate better. If nothing changes, I'd say you're no worse (I'm guessing with your experiences you can relate much better than me without even knowing it), but who knows?
Kyle, I'm gonna call you sometime here. Let me know what times work for you. I don't think I'm gonna dribble a basketball (I don't have one anyway- who do you think you're talking to), but I have two new opportunities to come off on the right foot. Two new neighbors just moved in. This is a question for all: What is a nice way to say high and not seem creepy, cheap, or just plain lonely (Which, for all I know, I'm all three)?
Marty, wow on the bike ride. That's sweet. I used to do that, and I miss it quite a bit. Maybe I'll buy a bike and be a paperboy. Have fun tempin'.
Duerk, tell me about this punk something or other thing. All you do is sit in an air-conditioned office all day long; do you really do work? =)
Brad, I could easily echo your very sentiments, for it has been on my mind much lately as well. It seems that life is now a shadow of what it was, that I live now through phone conversations and blogger check-ups, hoping that my little potted flower gestures would get so much as a hi, dissappointing my boss and quiting a job that I should have been able to do, sitting alone in a big empty apartment, forgetting about dinner until nearly ten o'clock, then not really wanting to go to any trouble to make anything- yeah, life seems to ask it's own question. What's plagued me more here than the question of meeting that special someone (the thought of two roommates in two weeks getting married and me being, well, me really hit over the weekend) is the question of whether or not I'll have close friends here, or ever again. I begin to picture myself at 40 in a tiny house with a little dog and a lot of free time, the sort that becomes the stuff of eight-year-old neighboorhood stories and such. I you guys think I'm someone worthwhile (Kurbis, I realize you're discluded from the comment), but who's to say anyone around here will think that -and why on earth would they? Am I ready for my life to fade into the background of great college memories? Maybe I should've went somewhere crappy so that everything else seemed just great. At least it makes me ask a question like "What's my life gonna be all about in the end?" Many people never ask such questions. There are days when I think I'll be one of those stalwart Christians that you read about in inspirational stories, and then there are days that I think I may not see heaven's dear light. We win either way we go with Christ, don't we? Either that ever increasing joy dominates our personality and emotions, or "blessed are the poor in spirit." Jesus doesn't say we need a good job or a good spouse or even a good attitude -he points out that we need him. I've asked myself a lot in the last few days whether or not I think I will ever have him. Not born-again I'm-saved salvation sort of have him. The sort that suprises you in the middle of the day like some new ridge on the horizon that was always there but you never noticed. The sort that lives in those feelings of being saved and new all at once (and I do remember those feelings, and they were good). Will I be a person that has faith in Jesus because I need to be pardoned of my sinful heart, or will I have faith in Jesus because I know him like I know you guys?
Molly says hi.
That should probably be the gist of it all. Sorry as always for the blathering style and the ranting length, but take heart -I may have a job to consume my time once again.
Oh, news, yes. I am once again unemployed. My week and two day stint with Warnoth Custom Homes came to an abrupt halt this morning when I declaired my intention to... well, be unemployed again. I had a very terrible day yesterday, to the point of which I think I had heat stroke, had my ladder fall out from under me, had a power drill bind on me several times while drilling through a steel beam (the start of my troubles), and I was told that if I didn't work faster, I should hit the road. Well, I worked faster and hit the road, so I hope they're happy. I'm not mad that they gave me a terrible job that was nearly impossible to complete with the equipment (I drilled for nearly three hours, and the job should have taken half an hour, but it took two hours to figure out I had a dull bit), so in my frustration, and sickening nausea, I told myself I needed a line of work that I felt in which I could actually acomplish something. Yesterday was bad enough that I came home and sat on my lunch cooler for possibly half an hour with my hands in my face, wondering if I am a complete failure at living on my own. I couldn't even keep my first job two weeks. But (for all you positive people out there, this may make you smile, but don't think this is a trend or anything), all this was a startling point of despair that led me to a book by Andrew Murray called Abide in Christ, and it has been a refreshing taste of spiritual depth of which I have been missing for sure since I've been here. We'll see what comes of that.
Lynnea, I don't know if it is wise for anyone to pull the "you'll never understand" stance, because it's true, but it works both ways. We're to have sympathy when we can, and empathy when we can't, but for a person to believe that you must understand (and really, what does that mean except to put a loaded phrase into an emotional situation) to help, to care about them, well, that person is expecting you to be God himself, because I think only God can relate to us, understand us in a way that we understand ourselves. Can I relate to people who have never worried about money, who live what seems like a rich life, in the same way that I can relate to someone that grew up across the street from me? I would say I can't, but that doesn't change things. Can I relate to someone that grew up in homeless shelters or in a war-torn country? I would say no. Sympathy, empathy, and caring are things that must be received, and I don't think you had any way to break through this woman's bitterness for her to receive anything. We do have one ability that gives us must understanding -imagination. Use it. Imagine life as she has lived it. See how you feel. Spend a day thinking about life very different, and see if you can relate better. If nothing changes, I'd say you're no worse (I'm guessing with your experiences you can relate much better than me without even knowing it), but who knows?
Kyle, I'm gonna call you sometime here. Let me know what times work for you. I don't think I'm gonna dribble a basketball (I don't have one anyway- who do you think you're talking to), but I have two new opportunities to come off on the right foot. Two new neighbors just moved in. This is a question for all: What is a nice way to say high and not seem creepy, cheap, or just plain lonely (Which, for all I know, I'm all three)?
Marty, wow on the bike ride. That's sweet. I used to do that, and I miss it quite a bit. Maybe I'll buy a bike and be a paperboy. Have fun tempin'.
Duerk, tell me about this punk something or other thing. All you do is sit in an air-conditioned office all day long; do you really do work? =)
Brad, I could easily echo your very sentiments, for it has been on my mind much lately as well. It seems that life is now a shadow of what it was, that I live now through phone conversations and blogger check-ups, hoping that my little potted flower gestures would get so much as a hi, dissappointing my boss and quiting a job that I should have been able to do, sitting alone in a big empty apartment, forgetting about dinner until nearly ten o'clock, then not really wanting to go to any trouble to make anything- yeah, life seems to ask it's own question. What's plagued me more here than the question of meeting that special someone (the thought of two roommates in two weeks getting married and me being, well, me really hit over the weekend) is the question of whether or not I'll have close friends here, or ever again. I begin to picture myself at 40 in a tiny house with a little dog and a lot of free time, the sort that becomes the stuff of eight-year-old neighboorhood stories and such. I you guys think I'm someone worthwhile (Kurbis, I realize you're discluded from the comment), but who's to say anyone around here will think that -and why on earth would they? Am I ready for my life to fade into the background of great college memories? Maybe I should've went somewhere crappy so that everything else seemed just great. At least it makes me ask a question like "What's my life gonna be all about in the end?" Many people never ask such questions. There are days when I think I'll be one of those stalwart Christians that you read about in inspirational stories, and then there are days that I think I may not see heaven's dear light. We win either way we go with Christ, don't we? Either that ever increasing joy dominates our personality and emotions, or "blessed are the poor in spirit." Jesus doesn't say we need a good job or a good spouse or even a good attitude -he points out that we need him. I've asked myself a lot in the last few days whether or not I think I will ever have him. Not born-again I'm-saved salvation sort of have him. The sort that suprises you in the middle of the day like some new ridge on the horizon that was always there but you never noticed. The sort that lives in those feelings of being saved and new all at once (and I do remember those feelings, and they were good). Will I be a person that has faith in Jesus because I need to be pardoned of my sinful heart, or will I have faith in Jesus because I know him like I know you guys?
Molly says hi.
That should probably be the gist of it all. Sorry as always for the blathering style and the ranting length, but take heart -I may have a job to consume my time once again.
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