Well, how to get a collected, direct sort of thing going here with my thoughts is more difficult than I originally imagined. Before I get into all this, though, I should like to say that you should thank me for taking time out of my tirelessly romantic Valentine's Day just to talk about unromantic things with everybody. If anything, I wanted to get one of those e-cards from the NBC website that have Steve Carrel and the other Office people on them. But I'm lazy, so instead, I'm just going to write a thoughtful blog. Right, like I can do that.
I'm trying not to do what Kyle always complained about while we were still in school, namely fearing doomsday scenerios simply due to most of us being absent from Crown. I want it clearly understood that I know things change and I don't expect Alma to be the same as when we were there. Also, most of what I am pointing out or questioning is simply conjecture. So now that I'm done undercutting my entire argumentative base, let's continue.
I feel that the "pan-eudemonia" of the Crown student body is at stake due to leadership styles and decisions. There, I said it. I think what we knew and felt from the administration during our years, the support and direction, is becoming a place where there's plenty of Christian-coated talk while the people that make Crown deep and real seem to be edged out. Like I said, conjecture. So, maybe it's just reading about Scott's resignation that finally made me really want to know what's happening. I don't think this is an overnight thing or that suddenly Crown students are now just vanilla-plain college students, ones with enough pocket change to pay the tab, but otherwise completely unrelated to what we were. I know the students are still there, having cheesy floor events, running to Holiday and complaining about Ratledge tests, but it's like they're being pointed down a different road than we were. How can I be more specific?
I'll admit, some of my concern stems from my own simple stories involving the past and present presidents. Some of you know, but maybe not everybody, that Rick was my pastor for seven years before he was my VP of Academics. He was Pastor Rick before he was Dr. Mann. Even after I was at Crown, we churched together for my four years. I'm just pointing this out so that you can follow my train of thought when I tell you a simple story. Oh, and unlike most of you, Dr. B and I had never been formally introduced, and I still don't think he knows my name, not that I need him to, but that weighs into the story (some of you have heard this, but I think it's worth retelling).
It was Christmas a year ago. I was at school for the Bach-Jahnke wedding, sitting in Miller's office chatting about who knows what. Dr. Mann ducked his head in first, telling Miller something, and then he noticed I was there. He said hi, and proceeded to leave. Dr. B was a few steps behind him, poked his head in the doorway, and after acknowledging Mr. Miller, he proceeded to ask me how grad school was going. He knew I was in grad school - he remembered somehow. And then he took the time to see what was happening with it, time out of his busy day to just be two people that can be some sort of connected. My pastor of eleven years, the father of two very close friends and in some ways my boss for several years of tutoring, didn't pause for that reconnecting moment that took place between me and Dr. B. I think that pause was very important, and I fear it might be those simple pauses that might be lost on the next generation. I know that the few times I had the pleasure of chatting with Scott, I felt that pause, that reality, that care, and without some major figures at school that once gave us that sense of interest and compassion, I don't know how the student body can feel at ease with all their issues, spiritual or academic or financial or relational, whatever. And so, the question is, who is there with students, pausing with them just so they can have the confidence and security necessary to continue with day-to-day struggles that could be glossed-over in an all-smiles, hustle and bustle atmosphere? Lynnea, I know this is your employer, these issues concern your superiors and your coworkers, ect. I don't want you to feel like any of my concerns can or should be a reflection of you. You know I feel the student body is in better shape even with you there part time. It's the upper-levels of the school, the rudder and not the hull that I'm pointing to as troublesome. Is this more specific? I really don't know what any of this is supposed to accomplish, but that's part of my point. Accomplishment, goals, tangible results aren't always something we need as humans. Sometimes we need to talk about how we feel (now I'm just sounding like an idiot). I'm done. But I definitely want to know what everybody else is thinking on these things. You all know I'm a glass-half-empty sort, seeing the worst stuff when it's not really bad at all. Take that into account when you guys tear me apart for thinking such wasteful things, or whatever. I really don't know how those of you that regularly finger-walk all over this thing think, but the few people I have talked to have made similar comments and points as I just did, only with specifics and first-hand knowledge. So, to finish up, alls I'm saying is sommin's not right. Or at least, that's how it feels... to me.... right now... I think. Really, done.